“The choice between hope and despair, a very foggy position”
Is anyone allowed to say, sometimes as scary as it may be, you have to reach a point where you let go and let people figure out what they want the rest of their life to be like. Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and many more variations of mental illnesses.
Professionals say that the person going through this situation has got to be willing to seek help…
What does it take for someone to realise that it takes more than oneself to come back into the deep and dark place?
The hard truth is that unfortunately, great lives have been lost and we will continue to lose great people to this tormentor. When people live in the past when all they can talk about is what they used to be and who they are not. When someone has gone so low, that no one can tell them anything different. In the meantime, they still feel they can fix it on their own without help from anyone.
When their way of life and sadness starts to affect those around them negatively, those who love them, when the strong around them begin to become weak, when the children, work colleagues, etc. all start to live in their sadness and yet they cannot see a way out.
There is a saying that goes, “You can take the horse to the water but can’t force it to drink”.It is horrible saying, but sadly sometimes it rings true.
Will Smith once said, we all have the responsibility to fix us. We cannot expect anyone else to make us happy. You cannot expect anyone to love you effectively if you do not love yourself. When you do not like yourself, everyone who tries to help you is ‘out to get you.’
So, what happens?
There are always two sides to any coin. In the case of mental illness – there is the person in the deep of it or ‘the labelled’, and there is the person closest to them who sees it from the outside.
Both people have a role to play. I ask, is there a time when the person can do nothing in the deep of it?
Is there a time when the person ‘in the deep’ can look up and find that the harm is beyond them?
These are questions I get asked a lot, to be honest, they are questions I have asked myself when faced with such dilemmas. It is a situation that I have lived through. I have lost a lot of loved ones, and often I have asked myself… is there anything more I could have done to help that person?
The hard fact sad as it may be is that it is too much of a burden to carry. Sometimes the best way to love someone one is to let them live their truth. You can only pray that they will realise one day that no man is an island.
These are my thoughts, some experts may disagree, but the truth is that at some point we all have to face facts of life. Life is what we make of it.
If you are struggling whether are the one in the deep or the one watching someone in the deep, you are not alone. There is help out there. Here are some of the organisations that can help